Have you ever had a moment at work where the thought, “What am I supposed to be doing with my life?” comes crashing down onto you? Maybe you expected work or life to play out differently, or maybe you feel like you are stagnating. Then the stress sets in and you realize something in your life needs to change. Feeling like your path in life is wrong can lead to overwhelming job dissatisfaction, boredom, and confusion. Many who hit this point feel stuck; they don’t know the answer to the question, “What am I supposed to do now?”
The goal of this blog post is to help you reflect, analyze and plan where you are and where you want to be. It will also provide a framework to help you take actionable steps toward what you want in life. It is important to note that these questions and themes are here to help, but to make change happen, you have to form habits and take the steps to achieve your goals. Apply yourself to these prompts and honestly reflect on your answers. It may be helpful to grab a journal and write down your thoughts as you make your way through these questions.
Step One – Find your Why
The famous book “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek talks extensively about the importance of finding your purpose and using that purpose to encourage and inspire others. The core of the book encourages readers to start by asking “Why.” Asking yourself why you do and feel the things you do is a great way to identify your passions, values, and pressure points. Recognizing these things can reveal clues as to what things lead to feelings of dissatisfaction as well as what leads to satisfaction and joy.
How to start
Ask yourself the following questions:
What are my values?
- What matters to me in a job? In life?
- What are some things I will absolutely not do?
- Are there specific things I would love to be a part of?
- What were things you dreamed of as a child?
- Are there work boundaries that you need to maintain?
- Do I have certain expectations of myself?
- Are there career goals that I would love to achieve?
- In what ways do others (friends, partners, children) influence my values?
- If I want to make a change, what are the reasons?
- Will a change positively impact my path in life?
Reflect on your answers. Is your “why” becoming more obvious? It may be helpful to talk with a friend about your findings.
Step Two – Identify the Costs and Benefits
Now that you have your “why” it is time to perform a cost-benefit analysis. Every job, lifestyle, or degree has inherent costs and benefits to it. While that cost is occasionally money, often that cost is time, energy, or even dreams. It is important to focus on what those costs are to you in your current situation. For example, if it is important to you to have dinner with your family, a job that would require late nights or long hours may be too great a cost. If you found the perfect job but it required you to sacrifice your early mornings, would that be a compromise you would be willing to make? The answer to these questions is entirely dependent upon you and your lifestyle choices.
How to start
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Will my earnings in time, money, mental energy be to my benefit or detriment?
- What kind of things exhaust me?
- What are the pros and cons of my current situation?
- How about the pros and cons of other ideal opportunities?
- Are there compromises that I am willing to make?
- How about compromises I am unwilling to make?
- Do the costs and benefits of my situation affect those who matter to me?
- What kind of support will I need (if any) for my ideal job, lifestyle, degree, etc?
Step Three – Get real with yourself
If you have made it this far, you probably have had many wonderful self-reflection moments. Maybe your path in life is becoming clearer. Notice the big ideas or themes that come up for you as you have worked through these questions. Maybe you are realizing that it is time for a degree change or to set some healthier boundaries with your current job. Either way, it is time to ask yourself some important questions such as:
- Do I want this change for selfish or negative reasons?
- Is it more than a job that is causing me distress?
- Could my mental health be a factor?
- Is my support system a positive or negative one?
- If your desire for change is job-centered, have you considered your time outside of work?
- Does a change align with my values?
It is important to be as honest with yourself as you can with these questions. If you identify major barriers on your path in life, pay attention to them. It may be helpful to see a therapist or career guidance specialist if it feels like you are trapped between two impossible options.
What next?
Set Some Goals
After giving yourself some dedicated time to reflect on each of these questions, it may be time to plan some things out. It is important to have a clear idea of what you want and the steps that it may take to get it. Setting goals is a great way to accomplish big changes. We wrote an entire blog post dedicated to goal setting – be sure to check it out here. If you are more of a visual type, drawing an outline of where you are, where you want to be, and the steps it will take to get there can be a great way to motivate and inspire yourself while on the journey of change.
Practice Self-Care
During any major change, it is easy to put all of your energy and effort into reaching your goals. Too much of this can lead to burnout and exhaustion. As you take your new path in life, be sure to take time to practice some self-care. Actively listen to your mental, emotional, relational, and physical needs and nurture those needs regularly. This process is a great practice to maintain in all seasons of life.
Have Someone to Lean On
As stated in the famous song by Bill Withers, “We all need somebody to lean on.” Having someone to help you stay accountable, to be a sounding board for your thoughts, and to extend love and kindness can go a long way during stressful times of change. This can be a spouse, best friend, close family member, or mental health professional. Many feel like they can do everything on their own. While many people can do this, they shouldn’t have to. Open up to someone you care about and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
